Self-Checkouts…Stop Yelling at Me!

Dear reader,

Can we all agree that self-checkouts leave much to be desired? I’ll be the first to admit that I get a little crazy when one of those overly cheery but somehow condescending robotic voice tells me to remove an item from the bagging area even though it was clearly scanned.

Image result for im just a girl screaming at the self checkout


Why are they programmed to tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME to place the item in the bagging area? I get it, fake cheery voice… After the first time, you can let me fly on my own. I may not be able to come home from the store with anything other than PopTarts and frozen meals for one like a functional adult, but I think I can figure out moving those said items five inches to the left.

I feel if they call something a self-checkout, it should at least give you a compliment after all the struggles. Like, “You survived your transaction, your patience is astounding!” Or, “So many times life throws you unnecessary trials, like self-checkouts. Congratulations for making it through another challenge!” At least hang a mirror above them that says “You’re Beautiful!,” taped to it.

It’s hard enough to go to the store and remember to take my shopping list. Or resisting compulsively buying all the snacks that I do not need. I’m looking at you Cosmic Brownies. But when I finish my shopping after going down the same aisle for the fourth time because the salsa is not located where I thought it was, I’d like to be able to leave the store with a little dignity.

Amazon’s latest step in world domination has introduced it’s Amazon Go store, which opened in Seattle. And do you know what they did? They got rid of the ENTIRE checkout process! No lines, no people, no robotic voices, nothing. They just track what’s in your cart along with an app and charge it to your Amazon account. We thought self-checkouts were a game changer when they were first installed. That was nothing compared to the differences this will make in other types of stores if it ever becomes reality.

Amazon                        Amazon’s 1,800 square foot grocery store|Photo credit: Amazon

It’ll be interesting to see how it all plays out. But maybe that is the solution to stopping the barrage of yelling self checkouts. Just get rid of them entirely. Brilliant. How would you have liked to be the person to bring that up in the brainstorming meeting? “How do we fix the problem of self-checkouts?” “Umm, I dunno, maybe we could get rid of them?” I’d imagine that answer would have been met with some stunned silence, with a random person in the background furiously scribbling down notes.

In the meantime, away from Amazon’s futuristic shenanigans, I’ll be right here. Still crying in front of the self-checkout…







-Do you use the self-checkouts? Or do you prefer the cashier checkouts?


Author: Dear Reader

I'm recently graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering and am working on my Master's. I enjoy reading, math jokes, and science. I'm terrible at cooking and at filling these things out.

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